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Did we really hear that commercial?

Radio2

Just now, on a certain local news station...

"You didn't give up on sex! Don't give up on birth control either! There are so many different methods.."

For the love of God! (One of my friends always says that and I have picked it up.)

Does everything have to be right out there? Last night we cracked up hearing an ad for some, ahem, prostate medication. It was telling guys something like: "You can stop getting up at night to go to the bathroom. Instead, you can get up for something a lot more fun!"

Considering all this, it kills us, this one cemetery guy we hear on the radio. It might have been Forest Lawn, might have been the Catholic Cemeteries, who knows. There are so many people these days competing for our dead body, we lose track.

Anyway, the graveyard guy begins: "I'd like to talk to you about something that used to be considered taboo."

What in the world is considered taboo?

What kind of a grabber is that?

Occupy breakfast table

Pictures 2012-10-12 002

We have a joke around the house that clutter becomes invisible. Something sits in the same place long enough, you stop noticing it.

So I look up at breakfast this morning and only gradually saw, sitting across from me at the table, the pumpkin I picked up last week.

There it was. Big. Green. Occupying its own place at the table!

Good gourd almighty! Sorry, I could not help that.

Somehow among all the other stuff competing for its space -- the big bag of paper napkins, the piles of newspapers, the coffee cups -- it had managed to squash its way in, so to speak. And it was just sitting there. It even had its own chair! I mean, look.

It worries me that it is not only two weeks into October. Surely this weekend will bring another trip to the farmer's market. And the weekend after that will bring another.

Things are bound to get worse!

100 years ago today: An elephant never forgets

Elephantbath

We have a display case at The News that shows the paper from 100 years ago. You can bet that Buzz spends hours lingering over the yellowed pages! Especially when we have tons of other work to do.

Today's page brought an elephantine event.

The final touches were being put on the elephant house at the Buffalo Zoo. Steam heat was in place and now the elephants were getting bath facilities.

Sure enough, look up the elephant house on an architecture nerd Web site and it was built in 1912. It was the creation of Esenwein & Johnson, the great fanciful architectural team who brought us the Calumet Building, Lafayette High School and the Temple of Music at the Pan-American Exposition.

August Esenwein was an actual German count. We ask you, how many zoos can boast an elephant house designed by a count? Can San Diego's? Can Toronto's?

Our zoo should trumpet its proud history!

 

Twilight of the magazine industry

Buzz was at Budwey's last night and we see this whole magazine devoted to Twilight.

Hilarious, you know? These people look like the Addams Family.

We joined the young woman behind the cash register in laughing at the magazine and marveling at the number of people she said bought it. Then we went on our merry way. And we forgot all about it.

Until today, when we learned about another magazine hitting the streets later this month.

Madtwilight

Ha, ha! Sometimes we think we should read Mad more often.

Every once in a while, it comes through for you, you know?

Coupon user on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Coupons

Yikes, that big fat Entertainment Book expires on Nov. 1!

The pressure. The pressure!!

Here are 10 Entertainment coupons Buzz does not want to waste.

1.) Scarlet, the cozy little place on Virginia Street, with coupon good for up to $15. Buzz loves Virginia Place. It looks like New Orleans.

2.) Pietro's Ristorante, on Transit in East Amherst. "A Culinary phenomenon since it's inception in 2001," writes the Entertainment Book, blissfully oblivious to the correct use of apostrophes.

3.) The Wehrle Family Restaurant in Snyder, offering a buy one, get one on gyros and souvlaki. Buzz goes to the Wehrle with our mom. It is a Mom kind of place!

4.) Caputi's Sheridan Pub. The coupon is just for $5, but come on, the place is legend.

5.) Chow Chocolat. Buy one bonbon, get one free. Buzz has neglected this coupon so far only because we went into Chow Chocolat once and we saw a huge vat of chocolate and our heart started racing and we almost passed out.

6.) The Botanical Gardens. Once we went in there and actually got lost. We were standing there in Begonia House No. 2 wondering which way was north. Why travel when you've got this?

7.) Rainbow Roller Rink, in North Tonawanda. Ever since Cory Wells of Three Dog Night told us about roller skating at the old rink at St. Ann's Church, we have had this yen.

8.) The King and I. Thai places are great because we do not make that stuff at home.

9.) Samurai Japanese Cuisine, in East Amherst. Looking hungrily at the menu we see they have something called the Crazy Love Roll.

10.) The whole rest of the book!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear!

We have to laugh every time we hear...

Radio

... those anchor types on WBEN-AM having to say, "There's an app for that."

They have to say it at every newscast!

And this has been going on for months. If not years. We forget when they came out with their app.

HAHAHAHAHAAAA!

We can laugh freely and affectionately at WBEN because they are practically family, what with those call letters. Buffalo Evening News, get it? Anyway, it is just so funny hearing them trying to say "There's an app for that" with all kinds of different inflections so it does not get boring.

Sometimes we tune in just to hear them say it!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAA!

It's OK, WBEN. You can laugh at us too.

We won't be offended.

Buffalo's VIP fixation reaches the underworld

Catacombs

Surely Buffalo leads the world in VIP designations. We love our VIP statuses here in Buffalo! The World's Largest Disco has VIP tickets. Bars and clubs have VIP seats. And now comes the ultimate:

We even have VIP status in haunted houses!

Today's Groupon deal offers VIP tickets to Cheektowaga's House of Horrors and Haunted Catacombs (shown above, along with owner Tim Bunch, in a fearsome News file photo).

For $30 you get a VIP haunted house tour for two -- a $60 value, Groupon tells us. These deals are always fun to read, and Groupon describes the Cheektowaga haunt thus: "Foggy hidden passageways cradled in darkness give way to a menagerie of monsters, from zombie soldiers wielding sledgehammers to demonic surgeons hungry for the under insured."

As the devil says in John Milton's "Paradise Lost": "It is better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven."

In Buffalo-speak that is "It is better to be a VIP in hell than to be a nothing in heaven."

See you in the catacombs.

The VIP section!

Celebrating Columbus and his 'Drums of Doom'

Scott columbus

Kelly Bucheger, who leads the jazz band What Would Mingus Do? on Mondays at the Allen Street Hardware Co., is celebrating Columbus tonight on the bandstand. He writes:

As you know, Monday is Columbus Day, a national celebration of the
life and work of Scott Columbus, the semi-legendary drummer perhaps
best known for his long collaboration with the heavy metal band
Manowar (and before that, Hell Hostage). Because he was so hard on
normal drum sets, he commissioned a special kit made of stainless
steel that he called the "Drums of Doom," literally putting metal into
his heavy metal playing.

I'll leave it to others to debate the fairness of a heavy metal
drummer being honored with a federal holiday; my job is to try to
somehow make my steady gig featuring original jazz music tie in with
the national celebration.

We took that picture of Columbus up above from the Metal Archives. He does kind of have that Renaissance look, you know?

The Columbus Day Gala Celebration begins tonight at Allen Street Hardware starting at 8 p.m. The bar is at 245 Allen St., in Allentown. If you've never been there, today's the day.

Get out and explore!

And then depression set in

Bathrobe

That is a snapshot of Buzz leaving the house this morning having to endure the Bills' devastating loss.

The bathrobe represents the Buffalo Bills! Forgive me, I love those depression drug ads with the bathrobe. I can't help it.

Anyone else notice, when the Bills lose, you just know it? It is in the air. Even if you do not watch or listen to the game, you know it.

Yesterday while the game was going on I was out running errands and stuff and did not catch any game updates. Sometimes it is better not to look in on stressful situations! That is why I did not watch the presidential debate, either, last week.

Later on yesterday I was home washing dishes and stuff and all of a sudden I said out loud, to no one:

"The Bills lost. I just know it."

And sure enough, alas.

Here is another depression ad I love. I love how the people are shaped like eggs and at the end, as the voice is listing the side effects, they start bouncing cheerily around.

If only Bills losses were reversed so easily!

Wouldn't it be great if you could just take a pill, and they would win?

The gourds must be crazy

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If Buzz owned a vegetable stand it would look something like George's, the farmer's market out on Main Street in Williamsville. We love George's for just that reason. The crates and boxes lying around. Stuff everywhere. Few price tags.

"Is there a list I'm supposed to be looking at?" we asked the lone woman staffing the place yesterday, after asking her how much were beans, how much were tomatoes and how much was that big green squash.

"No, no list," she said cheerily.

She was shivering on the chilly day and cuddling a needy white lap dog.

We bought a cauliflower and big red cabbage. And two baskets of use 'em-or-lose-'em tomatoes. And a bunch of ripe bananas mysteriously priced at 25 cents. For the bunch! Not just for one.

And a basket of green beans. And one of these giant green squashes.

004

"It's not a squash. It's a pumpkin," said the gal minding the shop.

Pumpkins ARE squash! But why argue. There is enough arguing these days what with Obama and Romney. 

Another customer was at George's too and she and Buzz kept passing each other on our way to and from our cars carrying fruits and flowers.

"I can't stop shopping!" Buzz shouted to her.

She laughed and shouted back:

"It's so fun!!!!"

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