That graffiti vandal, pictured above, who was convicted of leaving that silly "BCUZ" tag all over town must have been breathing in too many paint fumes. Because, in today's interview with The News' Jane Kwiatkowski, he missed the chance of a lifetime.
Jane asked him why he had sprayed his tag all over town. He said something to the effect of he could not put his thoughts into words.
What in the world???
He should have shrugged sadly and said "B'cuz."
How could that not occur to him?
Better still he could have shrugged sadly and said: "B'cuz.... I was an idiot."
The world would have loved him if he had gone with that second option! But alas.
Never again will he be set up so perfectly.
That chance will not come again.
One thing that remains (besides the five extra pounds)...
Airborne Eddy, jumping out of a cake!
"You should be wearing less clothes," remarked one woman, obviously a fan of Eddy, comedian, Off Beat Cinema host and co-founder of Forgotten Buffalo.
A gentleman says: "How disappointing for everyone!"
Scrawled on the walls of the ahem, fitting rooms of the Dick Road Amvets is, let us be honest, a lot of dreck. In its midst, though, we admired an oasis of high-minded ideals.
Got to love, especially, the Tolkien-quoting nerd, taking time out from Middle Earth, or whatever it is called.
We hope he scored a good haul!
So obvious, but so funny, the picture going around Facebook. It appears to have started with the Western New York page.
November 11, 2012 - 5:06 PM
Two reasons to love the free market: Tops and Wegmans.
The Wegmans ad makes you want to say "Aaaahhhh." It is so relaxing!
Whereas the Tops ad is screaming at you like a carnival barker.
But even being opposites they compete. And they go right on ahead and name names! A closeup of the cover of the Wegmans ad:
The bargain turkey price this year is 49 cents a pound. That is at least 10 cents over last year's, a 25 percent increase. We are just saying.
But why look a gift turkey in the mouth? We will gobble it up.
And give thanks, as always, for our rival supermarkets!
October 15, 2012 - 1:21 PM
Buzz loves the Shur-Fine brand. It is so retro! And in Sunday's Budwey's ad -- it's one of the first things we look for in the Sunday paper -- we got a Shur-Fine surprise.
A huge long list of Shur-Fine items you could order by the case! That was what it looked like, anyway.
We never remembered seeing this before. We wondered if it was a screw-up, if it had been slipped mistakenly somehow into the slinger.
But no! We called the Newfane Budwey's and this is for real.
You fill out the big old Shur-Fine order form and bring it to customer service.
"And you can just put down a little down payment," said the personable woman we spoke with.
Just like 1965!
Shur-Fine Sauerkraut! Shur-Fine Magic Mallow Cereal! Shur-Fine Laundry Detergent Classic With Bleach! Shur-Fine Mushroom Pieces and Stems! (Shur-Fine belongs to the era before people began to sneer at canned mushrooms.)
We can all have a Shur-Fine week!
October 12, 2012 - 1:16 PM
Just now, on a certain local news station...
"You didn't give up on sex! Don't give up on birth control either! There are so many different methods.."
For the love of God! (One of my friends always says that and I have picked it up.)
Does everything have to be right out there? Last night we cracked up hearing an ad for some, ahem, prostate medication. It was telling guys something like: "You can stop getting up at night to go to the bathroom. Instead, you can get up for something a lot more fun!"
Considering all this, it kills us, this one cemetery guy we hear on the radio. It might have been Forest Lawn, might have been the Catholic Cemeteries, who knows. There are so many people these days competing for our dead body, we lose track.
Anyway, the graveyard guy begins: "I'd like to talk to you about something that used to be considered taboo."
What in the world is considered taboo?
What kind of a grabber is that?
October 5, 2012 - 10:18 AM
It's Vol. 1, No. 1 of "The German Citizen," Buffalo's newest ethnic newspaper!
It comes out four times a year. In the first issue Martin Ederer, historian and Buffalo State College professor, talks about being hounded by reporters when he went to the annual German Mass at St. Ann's Church and Shrine.
"What's it like to be German?" they asked him.
"I was reeling. The reporter seriously expected me to sum up all things German in a five-second sound bite?! Thankfully, my initial impulse was to choke down the answer I wanted to give: a very similar -- but very sarcastic -- question in return. It would have been so concise, so rhetorically elegant and so memorable -- in short, all attributes that journalists hold dear. But that answer would have also poorly represented St. Ann's Church, the German mass, Germans, and quite possibly all of Catholicism.
"I don't fully remember the polite answer I finally gave."
Neither do we, because we got distracted by a photo on the next page of "The Flying Rhinos of Dortmund." Dortmund, Germany, is Buffalo's sister city.
Apparently these rhinos are like our fiberglass bison.
Perhaps they can make us some Flying Rhino beer to go with our Flying Bison!
Anyway. The Citizen's Telefon number is 831-8013, should you wish to reach out to them in a spirit of Gemuetlichkeit.
Lots to chew on, in "The German Citizen," along with your bacon and bratwurst.