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Mark Poloncarz Plays Pontius Pilate in Broadway Market Drama

Pilate

County Executive Mark Poloncarz will be pardoning a butter lamb today at 2:30 p.m. at the Broadway Market. The gesture does not melt the heart of one Polish Catholic gentleman.

The ceremony appears to be a kind of mash-up of Easter with Thanksgiving, when a turkey is pardoned by the White House. The butter lamb, though, represents a more complicated situation. According to Polish tradition it is supposed to represent Christ, the Lamb of God. And in the Bible, when the mob was calling for Christ's crucifixion, it was Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor, who could have said no but instead reluctantly agreed.

Hence our friend's righteous objection to today's ceremony starring Poloncarz.

He says: "I didn't know he had the powers of Pilate."

Diary of a Doughnut Judge

Judge

Buzz judged Paczki today at the Broadway Market. Above is a picture of us, second from the left, looking judgmental (as the friend said who snapped the picture). 

We sat in supreme judgment! And visible to the left of us is our friend and colleague Samantha Maziarz Christmann, the Discount Diva.

We tasted and discussed and tasted and discussed and tasted some more and wished there were more. The texture of these doughnuts were unbelievable. Coated with sugar, they oozed deep, thick jam. It got to the point where all you could think about was having more.

And our friends are all on board!

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Many more of them live next door.

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And the band begins to play.

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(They are the magnificent Bison City Stompers, jamming as we ate jam.)

And the Pączki winners were ...

Continue reading "Diary of a Doughnut Judge" »

Prestigious Buffalo Church Auction Yields a Fine Forgery

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By Mary Kunz Goldman

Tragically, we don't have the Trinity Episcopal Church White Elephant Sale any more. We do, however, have the church's annual Snowflakes and Starlight Auction, which was Wednesday.

There was, to quote one friend of ours, "prodigious spending." She herself, coming to her senses the next afternoon, had to sit down and make a list of the "unnecessary objects" that had followed her home:

-- Five wallets with two micro coin purses (they were all in one lot)

-- An American Kestral wind chime, (that looked artisan made until we hung it up by the kitchen window and noticed the coin-sized made-in-China sticker)

-- a black and white photo of the yacht club that neither one of us has any affiliation with

 -- And the coup de grace ....

Continue reading "Prestigious Buffalo Church Auction Yields a Fine Forgery" »

Polish People Doing Doughnuts

Paczki

It happens Saturday at noon at the Broadway Market ... Paczki Day!

You know you are a Buffalonian when you can spell Paczki correctly, even when you are not Polish, and even when you are not sure what Paczki is, or rather, are. They are doughnuts! Buzz has been invited to be a judge on Saturday at the Broadway Market. We cannot wait.

Meanwhile we read on Facebook of a site that tells you how to get that little thingie under the "a" to make it authentically Polish. Let us try it and see if it works.... Here goes.

Pączki.

It worked! But the technology still has room for improvement.

As one Polish gentleman writes: 

"Which shortcut key do I used to have a Pączki come out of the disc drive door?"

Lexington Co-op Shopper Gets Really Picky

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Buzz loves the suggestions posted at the Lexington Food Co-op. There was the one pictured above (click to blow up) about why were all the eggs in Styrofoam cartons.

The answer: "There was a major fire at a packaging plant in the South, so many producers had to go to Styrofoam until they could get the paper cartons again."

A likely story, Buzz thought. But lo! It is true. Luckily no one got hurt. But here it is eight months later and still there are no paper cartons. You have to figure there are people with egg on their faces. 

This complaint was even better:

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Tea tree toothpicks are by the register! We love the big, panicked writing of the tooth picker in need. And the small, tense writing of the reply.

Picky, picky, picky!

 

A Dash to Dashwey's

Classic Buffalo look, as described in today's Buzz. Get a good look because in the spring, we hear, the sign is going to be completely overhauled as part of of a $2,500,000 remodel. 

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And an exclusive photo of the parking lot of a weekend afternoon.

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It is definitely a funny sight to savor as we move through the great supermarket we call Buffalo history. Bargain Budwey's and upscale Dash's, coinciding for this moment in time.

Enjoy it while you can!

 

 

Gift Shop Makes Kleinhans Audience Groan

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Two in one shot! Too Hot to Handel and the Chopin Bag.

These people are the Mozarts of bad puns! Wonder what they'll have next time we stop in.

We'll be Bach!

Where the Buffalo Bills Reign Supreme

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By Mary Kunz Goldman

There is one place in the world where the Buffalo Bills are the Super Bowl champs! Unfortunately it is in the Third World which is kind of far from here. But still, better than nowhere.

A friend hips us to this story about what happens to the merchandise made in case a certain team wins. It turns up in developing countries! You cannot legally resell it here, and so it goes there.

Quoth our friend: "I see this stuff all the time when I am in Africa or parts of Asia. It is no blunder, it is all planned and factored into championship clothing costs.  There are places in Africa that I have been where they still swear that the Bills are FOUR TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!"

Hmmm, maybe we should take a trip there.

Just for that feeling!

Jackass Sighting at the Lexington Co-Op

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By Mary Kunz Goldman

Steve-O from the MTV comedy Jackass is in town to play Helium, the comedy club in the Cobblestone District, and it looks as if he is settling in, because he was spotted at the Lexington Co-op this morning buying three bags of groceries.

He is also making friends! A cashier began chatting with him and he gave her two free tickets for her and a friend.

The cashier then gave the other ticket to a neighboring cashier. Both were super-psyched, said the Buzz spy who observed this.

Buzz was personally not there. we were actually at Lorigo's on Grant Street right about then, which, no Jackass there. But there were 8-ounce bricks of Philadelphia cream cheese at 50 cents each so that made up for the lack of celebrity sightings. We bet Steve-O was not able to nail 50-cent cream cheese at the Lexington Co-op.

Steve-O is at Helium for three nights starting tonight.

The Most Unlikely Buffalo Business To Join Facebook ...

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... (well, aside from Wiechec's, that is) ... pretty much has to be the 24-Hour Store at the corner of Elmwood and Bird. Buzz loved its marquee this morning. It read: "FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK DJARUM CLOVES ..."

We did not catch the price on the clove cigarettes which, may we say, are a very 24-Hour Store thing to sell. 

The 24-Hour Store, on Facebook? How would you even find it? Who knows its real name? A roommate of ours used to call it the Two Four Store. Other people call it "We Never Close" because it has a huge sign that flashes that at passers-by.

Goofing around, Buzz figured it out. The store is Cameron's 24-Hour Store, We Never Close. It posted as its profile pic the gray, snowy, frankly Buffalonian picture at the top of this post.

The store had not posted since Christmas Day, when it posted Merry Christmas and "Today, spend $15 and get an additional $5 in merchandise FREE! Excluding lottery and newspapers."

One day in November it wrote: "Tough Bills game today. All beer 18 packs, $10.99."

Long story short, Buzz hit "Like."

How could you not?

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