Oh, the humanity

Former Yankees pitcher and current owner of a fast-food noodle shop in the LA area Hideki Irabu had quite the night out Wednesday in Osaka, Japan. In short order, Irabu allegedly downed 20 mugs of beer, became enraged when his credit card was rejected, shoved the bartender, pulled the guy's hair and finally smashed "at least" nine bottles of liquor.

At least that's the word from a police official speaking anonymously to the Associated Press about Irabu's arrest in what amounts to the latest piece of head-shaking news involving our national pasttime -- and its former "toads." There's been the disgrace in Dayton, Manny Ramirez shoving Boston's 64-year-old travelling secretary to the floor over an unfulfilled last-minute ticket request, Houston's Shawn Chacon attacking his general manager and seemingly every "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" feature in Sports Illustrated lately has had a baseball theme.

Here's a few of SI's recent apocalyptic omens:

--- A motorized wheelchair was stolen and driven out of the Metrodome as its 17-year-old owner watched a Twins game with his parents.

--- A 32-year-old man who was arrested for disrupting a baseball game in Massachusetts by riding a stolen motorbike around the bases told police he did it because "no one ever told him he couldn't."

--- Some in the crowd of 57,000 booed when Boston was mentioned during the papal Mass at Yankee Stadium.

--- A seven-year-old Little Leaguer in Freetown, Mass., was benched for two games because his mother missed her shift at the league's concession stand.

--- The St. Paul Saints, whose stadium is eight miles from where Sen. Larry Craig was arrested last year, held a "bobblefoot" giveaway: Fans got a model of a bathroom stall with a tapping foot dangling below the door.

Of course, fans can take comfort in the existence of even lower forms of sporting humanity. Take a recent NASCAR incident, for example. Following Saturday's Carfax 250 at Michigan International Speedway, country singer Pat Green made the mistake of yelling, "Anyone got a beer?" during his post-race concert. And then, well, we'll let track spokeswoman Sammie Lukaskiewicz explain. "As I understand it he asked for a beer, someone threw one and he caught it," she told the Jackson Citizen Patriot. "Someone then threw another beer, and it hit him."

Right between the eyes, knocking the singer out. 

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Brewers manager Ned Yost channeled Bill James to defend his use of CC Sabathia, citing that his ace is averaging only 13.7 pitches per inning. Yost says that figure is seventh-lowest in baseball ... Speaking of James, Tribe ace is the leader in the guru's Cy Young predictor ... Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Bob Smizik takes issue with Pirates owner Bob Nutting recently calling GM Neil Huntington and team president Frank Coonelly "the single best management team in all of baseball, maybe all of sports." Can't see why.

(AP Photo: Irabu in 2000 with the Montreal Expos)

--- David Briggs