Chocolate milk is my happy place
Somehow it's fitting I wrote about learning how not to worry.
Because my last dip in the pool resulted in panic.
There could be any number of things that happened. I could have been worn down from consecutive days of training. I could have brought too much of my daily stress to the water. I could just have been tired.
But I knew I was off when I first pushed off from the wall. I had to do a basic floating drill before starting the warm up portion of the workout. It's been a while since I needed to do that.
I got through the warm ups, took off my fins and started the workout.
My mind started to wander and think about the 750 meters I have to swim in just a few weeks. In open water. With waves and people kicking me. In a wet suit I have yet to swim in.
My heart started to race. I started to panic.
I swam 50 yards (two lengths of the pool) and took a breath. I went again. I tried to swim 100 yards but I couldn't catch my breath.
Whoa.
I hung out at the end of the lane in the shallow end. On a rest interval Carolyn, who swims in the lane next to me, asked if I was OK.
"I'm struggling today."
"Are you sick? Do you need to get out and rest?"
"No," I shook my head. I was determined to not leave the pool. "I just panicked."
"Well, why don't you float for a while?" Carolyn suggested. "And go to your happy place."
Good idea. I pushed off from the wall on my back and floated down the lane. I turned over to my stomach, put my face in the water, blew some bubbles and flipped back. I put my fins back on and slowly took off on a regular swim. Slow and easy. Happy place, I thought. Go to my happy place.
What is my happy place?
Chocolate milk.
I have no idea why chocolate milk came to my mind, but at that moment, chocolate milk was my happy place. When a negative thought, a panic thought, would enter my mind I changed my thinking: "Happy place. Chocolate milk."
I didn't complete the workout but I did swim 2,500 yards.
There are several things to learn from tough practice days, days when you don't perform the way you want.
First -- you can't appreciate good days, or success, without bad days, or failure. You need the lows to understand the highs.
Second -- the important thing is not that you encountered difficulty but in how you choose to respond. Remember that curve ball I was talking about? Yeah, I got a big, wet curve ball tossed at me in the swim this particular practice. My adjustment wasn't perfect, but I faced it, took a deep breath and got back to work.
I learned that I can face panic, go to my happy place and get through it.
And I have more first hand evidence that my actions follow my thoughts. Fear and negativity brought me to a difficult swim which only means relaxation and confidence will bring me back to solid, effective swims.
