The Five People I Meet at Wegmans

One of Caroline's assigned summer reading books is "The Five People You Meet in Heaven," by Mitch Albom. I'm not ready to get into a theological discussion in this forum, but the title of the book did get me thinking about this:

The Five People I Meet at Wegmans

1. The Sample Abuser: Starts with four to five "tastes" of gelato at the coffee counter, then stops by enough sample stations in the rest of the store to consume 800 calories without dropping a dime.

2. The Line Reservist: Leaves her cart right next to the belt at the checkout, then remembers 12 other things she meant to buy. Instead of admitting a temporary setback, she leaves her cart there to save her place in line, leaving the rest of us to queue behind a cart with no human operator.

3. The Express Line Flouter:  He pays no mind to the "12 or fewer items" sign, or the "12 items or less" sign, for that matter. (We won't do the grammar gotcha.) Even if he has 54 items to buy, he considers himself entitled to use whatever checkout line is convenient; the rules be darned!

4. The Loud Talker: Can be a mom or a dad, but it's the parent pushing the kid in the top seat of the cart and narrating their trip through the aisles. "Look, Sasha, mommy is buying apple sauce for you. Only the free-trade, organic, nut- and gluten-free variety, of course." The words are said loudly enough to be heard back in the dairy-frozen aisles.

5.  The Aisle Obstructor: Yes, members of my own family do this. It's the folks who absent-mindedly leave their carts spread out over the whole aisle while they stop to pick out an item, making passage for other customers all but impossible. Even worse, when they leave their cart blocking an aisle while they have a chat with the friend they just ran into. I can't say for sure that women do this more than men, but to me it's a violation of the Man Code. Men are not in the grocery store to socialize; we're there to convert our family shopping lists into tangible results, then to pay and get out. Or maybe that's just me.

---Greg

Comments

[Perry]

Luv it...the Loud Talkers always get me...it's like they are play-by-play announcers for their kids (just like your blog pointed out). Despite these annoying folks, Wegmen's is still a great place to shop.

[Mary Kunz Goldman]

Greg, I am laughing and laughing at this title!

[Discount Diva]

Love it! So true.

[Greg]

Glad to strike some chords with some of my fellow shoppers.

[Dave]

Don't forget:

The Complainer: This person is generally in line in front of you, and is constantly complaining about the pace of the line, the cashier being too slow, the shopper paying with a check, the register tape running out, or anything else.

They think you're on their side, but really, you're -- for the first time in your life -- browsing the tabloid headlines to ignore The Complainer the best you can.

"Yes, she IS paying with a personal check. Yes, I can't believe anyone still carries a check book too. I know! Debit cards. You're so right. Checks are totally unnecessary. Oh, I didn't notice she had WIC too. Yeah, I know. You're tax dollars and mine. Oh, you're right. She forgot to get the bulk stuff weighed."

[BobbyCat]

I absolutely HATE those jokers who plant the big black rubber tarantula in the bananas, then hang around to witness the panic in produce.

[Chris Connors]

Great post Greg Re: #1, I can't believe you saw Zack and Seamus in Wegmans. And Re: #4, I once witnessed "Look Carson, they have your favorite cheese, Brie!"

[hamburger]

I don't see any of the same people you see.
I only see Lyndsey the pharmacy assistant, Amber the checker, and Ruth that nice lady that works in be bakery,
The best people at Wegmans is and always will be the wonderful people that work there.

[Don H]

INVITATION TO DISASTER Why do some checkout people ask: "Find everything?" I was behind a woman who responded that she could not find a certain type of soft drink. The clerk sent the bagger to look while everything stopped for several minutes. The bagger returned to report: "there's no such thing." People need to ask for help while thy're shopping and not at the checkout. And clerks need to stop asking that stupid question. (This was not at a Wegmans.)

[Kathy]

Couldn't help but chuckle. You should live in Florida like I do. When the northerners arrive in the fall, they tie up ALL the grocery store isles visiting with their friends and rehash all their summer experiences.

Only time I go shopping is after 8 PM. They are in bed by then. :)

[Chris Smyth]

Anothe of my favorites is the person that needs to place the order divider in between our groceries, even though I leave ample space - there is no way the cashier can confuse my order with theirs. But, the person ahead will always, with vigor, reach over and slam the bar down.

Another step to this is the person that uses their arm to "shield" their groceries from mine when the belt does not automatically stop - as if my groceries were an approaching threat that will spread cooties to their order.

[Greg]

Great point, Chris. People are so territorial on the checkout belt.

[Libby56]

I'm always grateful when the person ahead of me puts the divider down, people! I'm too far away from it to grab it, so I consider it a favor. And why should the clerk have to guess that a certain blank spot on the belt is where your order ends and the next begins?

Greg, you touched a common nerve with this topic, I'd say!

I see:

--The elderly ladies in the pastel slack suit who from the back looks just like my late mom, so when I see these women, I feel an unreasonable surge of affection for them.

--The angry mothers who yank their kids' arms and hiss at them to STOP IT, NOW, making me sick to my stomach wondering if they're that harsh with the kid in public, what happens when they're back home and no one can see.

[Darla]

YES to dividers! I wouldn't assume that every cashier is with it enough to know where one order ends and the other begins. To not put a divider down for the person behind you in line when you are perfectly able to is actually a lack of consideration. It's not like putting up a fence in your backyard, come on.

[Matt]

Whether its Tops, Wegmans or any grocery store, I can't count the number of times I've almost been run over by the "end of aisle stop sign runners"