Parent Company

You'll shoot your eye out, kid

Did you get your fill of "A Christmas Story," the classic comedy that ran all day and night on TBS on Thursday?

Donald Fagen, the co-founder of Steely Dan, writes in Slate about the creator of the story that the movie was based on, Jean Shepherd, a writer and storyteller who was a beloved late-night radio personality in New York.

Fagen grew up "desperately weary of life in suburban New Jersey," until his uncle introduced him to Shepherd's radio show. Writes Fagen:

He was definitely a grown-up but he was talking to me—I mean straight to me, with my 12-year-old sensibility, as if some version of myself with 25 more years worth of life experience had magically crawled into the radio, sat down, and loosened his tie. I was hooked.

Here's a video of classic quotes from the film:

---Greg

Hey Santa, over here!

 

One of Santa's proteges came down our street on a fire truck this afternoon, followed by his posse of support cars. He waved to neighbors, as Christmas music was playing. This tradition is always a Christmas Eve highlight, even though some might consider it a bit politically incorrect.

Over the years, we've been lucky that there has never been a fire in Snyder during this ride, but I'm sure they have a contingency plan if a tree goes up in flames while Santa is riding a truck.

By the way, thank you, volunteer firefighters, for your dedication and service to our community this year and every year. I know from personal experience that if you call 911, a horde of cars will be at your house in seconds. Their dedication is truly appreciated.

Back to the politically correct aspect, given that we live in a country where at least some people claim there's a war on Christmas. Friends in India and China put up trees and give presents even though they are not Christian; apparently this is just a way of honoring a tradition of gathering and going with the flow, as it were, without explicitly celebrating a Christian holiday. This seems a tolerant and sensible view, especially since Christmas trees are thought to have begun with pre-Christian Germanic paganism, and not with Christmas at all, as stated in Wikipedia, my source of all truth and knowledge.

So as people in China, India, and all over the world look at their trees, they might check out the Internet to see where Santa is. When I last checked -- Norad tracks Santa -- he had just flown over the Great Wall, and this year he had the joy of flying over the Bird's Nest, before heading on to the Taj Mahal. I attempt to work in an embedded geography lesson with this site, but my kids are growing weary of the edu-Santa angle. I bet you don't know where Zamboanga is -- I didn't.

---Allison

Gifting and spending

Let's "surf the Web," as the kids say, to find some holiday gift ideas for the family.

At "On Youth and Teens Today," Becca suggests giving our teens an experience (a road trip, attending a sporting event, baking or building something togther) rather than buying them things.

Tech Mamas reviews 17 cool gifts for techie teens, including Orb watches.

Susan Heim on Parenting rounds up great gifts for writers and readers.

Mom Central's holiday gift guide suggests items for moms, dads, teens, tweens, younger ones and pets.

From My Perspective has some fresh takes on gifts for teenagers.

Customized ornaments, anyone?

Bible Money Matters compiles 50 frugal gifts, for the tightwad in all of us.

MSN's Money Central has further thoughts about a tightwad's Christmas.

---Greg

Pink slips are the new black

Black Friday (Nov. 28) was followed by Pink Friday (Dec. 5), the day we learned that more than 500,000 people were handed pink slips in November, with predictions that many more are coming in the months ahead. While these are statistics, the families they affect are real people. (The New York University Child Study Center has some good advice, should you or your family or friends be facing this situation.)

As Buffalonians, we're used to "what doesn't go up, mustn't go down." Our hot air balloon never really got off the ground, thus it never came crashing into a thicket of prickly hawthorns. But those of us unfortunate to be looking for employment might find solace that our humble local economy has some jobs, not to minimize the difficulty of actually landing one. Buffalo.com's employment section lists 750-plus jobs, with positions as varied as call center managers, phlebotomists, drivers, Web designers, housekeepers, hair stylists, dentists, and welders.

A scan of the listings on the Buffalo Niagara Partnership Web site reveals 500-plus jobs across the talent pool spectrum: architects, accounting managers, marketers, professors, nurses, customer service representatives, metallurgists, value stream managers, and sustainability consultants. No doubt many of these positions have been filled or withdrawn since the listings date from July, but it's encouraging to see that despite the downturn we have some decent jobs, though a few require uncommon or inscrutable skill sets.

Given that many of the better-paying jobs advertised require education and/or special training, I wanted to see how that translates into what parents are buying their kids for the holidays as we agonize about how to raise children to survive in our increasingly competitive global economy. Amazon's bestsellers in the Toys and Games categories reveal our conflicted recession-ridden kid id.

We want intellectual stimulation from toys like the strategy game Blokus Classic, the Planet Toys Earth Digital Microscope, and the uber-annoying Fisher Price Smart Cycle. (This last gem from our own local company promises to entertain, educate, and exercise your child — a wholesomeness trifecta — while keeping him/her out of your hair! If only we could redirect this collective ingenuity at Fisher Price to solve our regional problems.) Yet while  our higher selves strive to edutain our kids, presumably to prepare them to be value stream managers or sustainability consultants, we also want to throw in some guns and dolls for fun.

After all, this is America. The pink slips may keep coming, but we won't go down without a fight and some sequins.

— Allison

Keeping down with the Joneses

As we wrap up 2008, here’s my early entry on the  In/Out list: Conspicuous consumption – out. Conspicuous deprivation – in. It’s not enough to not have enough, we have to publicize it with a new sort of competitive pride.

Our family’s decaying minivan, once a sign of blight, is now a badge of honor.  If we were to replace if and pull up in a new Hummer, we would face the community shaming of a parolee in the neighborhood.

It’s downright hip to shop for groceries at Aldi and celebrate the virtues of self-bagging and cart-returning to reclaim your quarter. TJ Maxx (which advertises Every Day is Black Friday) is almost too upscale – the Salvation Army is in. It’s no longer how much you pay for something, it’s how little.

Our new deprivation chic is making it easier to be a parent. Kids don’t ask for the things they once did, and when they do ask they are quicker to understand “no.” Whining is out, gratitude is in.

I haven’t heard Santa ask for a bailout to retool his workshop for this new age of austerity, but my guess is that he’s retraining the elves to make more recycled Frisbees ($3.50), and fewer special edition robots ($49,999.95).

If you’re planning a party, it’s no longer an act of desperation to go to the 99 Cents store, it’s cool and downright smart  according to today’s New York Times, whose writer challenged high-end party planner David Monn to choreograph a “transcendent dinner party for 8” for under $30 a head.

The silver-plated lining to tough times is that while we may struggle to make ends meet, tight times “take the pressure off,” says Monn, so we can focus on the important things like friends and family. If a recession means fewer office parties, less shopping and spending, and an end to frenzied entertaining, I’m down with that and I hope we can keep it up when the good times roll again.

---Allison

The rise of overparenting

Between Allison being away all week and the passing of my friend Tom Borrelli, I haven't found much time to blog.

Our 9-year-old son was envisioning what it will be like when Allison returns Saturday and is greeted at the door by our puppy.

"Mom will probably have one of her senior moments," Greggie said. "She and Fiyero will run toward each other in slow motion."

I did find time to catch a terrific New Yorker essay on overparenting in the year 2008. It describes perfectly some of the hyper-parents who we all know, and the arc of their children's lives, from the Baby Einstein and Baby Mozart DVDs to the tutored and micromanaged school years, to the ultimate test of college admissions, followed by college itself, which may include the parents buying a second home near the campus, followed by the boomerang years of living at home again.

Read it and weep, or laugh, as the case may be.

---Greg

Video interlude

After another weekend of being a basketball/drama/swimming dad, I found the video below to be pretty funny. The title is "How Not to Be a Soccer Mom." It's from a site called Howcast.

(Hat tip to Happy Healthy Hip Parenting.)

They have a collection of videos for parents, including: "How to Text Your Way into Your Kid's Life," "How to Be a Good Parent by Britney Spears," "How to Be a House Husband," and "How to Survive Your Mother's Menopause."

You've probably gotten the idea that their attitude is more irreverent than earnest.

Enjoy this one:

---Greg

The White House puppy

Now that Barack Obama has been elected president, there are many promises to keep. Middle-class tax cuts. A way out of Iraq. But the one that must be foremost on his mind is -- "Did I really tell the kids they could get a puppy if I'm elected?"

The First Kids are holding him to it.

The president-elect addressed his daughters, Malia (10) and Sasha (7), in his victory speech Tuesday night: "I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."

Having been through this puppy process myself during the summer (I was against it before I was for it), I have some advice for the president-elect.

Here are my Top 10 tips for Mr. Obama on getting a puppy:

1. Insist that Malia and Sasha put in writing what their responsibilities are for the care and feeding of the dog. Don't you dare bring a pooch to the White House without a pre-puptial agreement.

2. Don't count on Vice President Biden to walk the dog for you. At first he'll be all enthusiastic about it, but pretty soon he'll start saying he "forgot," or "How come Cheney never had to walk Barney?"

3. No matter how much the girls beg you, you can't put lipstick on a dog.

4. If the dog does his business in the White House, there's no use waiting until the end of your presidency to give him a pardon. He won't remember what you're talking about.

5. If there is an "accident" in the West Wing, keep it a secret or else the Republicans will try to rub your nose in it.

6. I don't know what you plan to name the dog, but I here are some names to stay away from: Maverick, Barracuda, Hussein. Trust me, those won't poll well.

7. As much as the puppy wants to greet your guests, do not let him run around the dining room during state dinners. You know that Sarkozy or Olmert is going to throw him some table scraps that he doesn't need.

8. Don't let the pooch sleep on your bed, either, or he will lose sight of his place in the pack. (The same principle applies to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.)

9. Don't let the kids spoil him by opening windows on Air Force One so he can stick his head out.

10. Need a loyalty test for your Secret Service guys? Three words: Iams food taster.

---Greg

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali, everyone.

When Allison and I traveled to India last spring, we became very fond of the many friendly people we met there. Today begins Diwali, India's Festival of Light. It is the country's biggest holiday, as important to Hindus as Christmas is to Christians.

Western New York residents with ties to India will no doubt be celebrating today. I plan to do my part by getting some Chicken Kadai from one of our area's fine Indian restaurants.

According to National Geographic Kids:

Indians celebrate with family gatherings, glittering clay lamps, festive fireworks, strings of electric lights, bonfires, flowers, sharing of sweets, and worship to Lakshmi. Some believe that Lakshmi wanders the Earth looking for homes where she will be welcomed. People open their doors and windows and light lamps to invite Lakshmi in.

Namaste!

---Greg

 

Who do your kids want for president?

How much do you talk about politics and the presidential election with your school-aged children?

Allison and I are pretty "free range" when it comes to this. That's partly because we often disagree about issues or candidates. We both have the same big picture goals for our society and our family, but we differ on how to get there. One of us is more of a flaming liberal who is soft on terrorism and wants to pay higher takes; the other wants to give tax breaks to Exxon-Mobil and defend gun rights in the pro-American parts of America. Whatever.

We do not, however, use the kids as human shields in our political discussions. We want them to form their own decisions, which -- let's face it -- means backing the candidates who their friends support.

The other night I was driving 6th-grader Caroline to the YMCA and I asked her if she had heard the humorous nickname for Sarah Palin -- Caribou Barbie.

Yes, she said she heard it on "Saturday Night Live." She had already gone online and watched the Palin opening from SNL the night before.

At Nickelodeon.com, more than 2,000 young people cast a vote for president, and Barack Obama edged John McCain, 51 to 49 percent.

Nearly 250,000 youngsters voted in Scholastic News' election poll. Their voters chose Obama by 57 to 39 percent.

I haven't polled our kids yet, but I know at least two are leaning toward McCain.

"I like his ideas," our 9-year-old boy said recently.

---Greg