'Grave Expectations' and preparing for your final farewell

In my story published today in the Spotlight section, the authors of "Grave Expectations: Planning the End Like There's No Tomorrow," write about the rituals people want (and don't want) for their final farewells.

Authors Sue Bailey and her friend Carmen Flowers, a former Buffalo resident, urge people to use their book as a starting point to decide everything from whether you'll be buried or cremated (and your ashes then scattered, entombed, put on the mantel or used to make a sea reef, a diamond, fireworks, or almost anything else you can imagine) to what food will be served at your funeral breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, cocktail party or barbecue.

While I was interviewing Bailey and Flowers at a local coffee shop, two women at the next table joined the conversation. Both were fascinated by the topic, and a few minutes into their chat with us, the older woman pulled out a card showing that she had donated her body to the U.B. medical school.

Have you made your final plans? If so, what are they? If not, is there something you know you do or don't want? Or do you think the whole idea of pre-planning is morbid or too depressing to consider? Do you wish your older relatives would tell you what they want, or do you prefer not to think about it?

While you consider your exit strategy, here are a few photos of celebrities' final resting places. Do you want a fountain like the one Al Jolson has?

Or what about a series of statues depicting yourself and your loved one? In this case, John Milburn Davis commissioned the tableaux after his wife, Sarah, died in 1930. His neighbors in Hiawatha, Kansas, criticized him for not pouring his money into a school or hospital, and when he died in 1947, few attended his funeral. But nearly a dozen statues depicting him and his wife draw thousands of tourists annually.

 

After all -- you can't take it with you!

-- Anne Neville